The Dream Job

OK, so there’s this company I have been admiring for several years. The company is huge and stable with an excellent reputation. I’ve been applying for various positions with them for awhile. The Friday before Thanksgiving, I received an email that they wanted to do a phone interview with me after Thanksgiving was over.

I had a half hour phone interview with an extremely nice Human Resources lady. She told me I would hear something the next week. And I did. I had another phone interview the following week with the team I would be working with, should I get the job. They told me they would be in touch.

There was a tiny bit of a lag, which I attributed to the holidays. Just before everyone scattered for Christmas, I received an email stating they would like to fly me out for an in-person interview, and they would set it up for after New Year’s.

Well, it’s been set. I am being flown out next week for my in-person interview!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I fly out of town on the 13th, stay all night, interview the next morning, and return the evening of the 14th.

How huge is this? I gathered from the email chatter that I am the only candidate that is being brought in for an interview, and I am only scheduled to be in interviews for about 2 hours. I’ve never done this before. I know it’s good, but I don’t know how good.

I am so totally nervous.

Happy 2009!

Please be better than 2008!

2008: A Year In Blog Posts

Here’s hoping 2009 is better!

1. Janaury - Wicked: The Musical rolled through town and I got to go see it!
2. February - I turned 31.
3. March -  I voted in the Presidential Primaries for the first time ever.
4. April -  I returned to this domain after having strayed far and wide.
5. May - I missed my mom.
6. June - I had my first ever massage!
7. July - My uncle passed away.
8. August - I planned a big vacation.
9. September -  Then, we decided not to go on that vacation.
10. October -  I got laid off from my job.
11. November - Obama in the White Hizzy!
12. December - My gallbladder decided to stage a coup.

Come on 2009! Kick 2008’s ass IN A GOOD WAY!

Life Unscripted?

Shamelessly stolen from Manic.

Things I’ve Done (In Bold)

1. Started my own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than I can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sung a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched lightening at sea
14. Taught myself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown my own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitchhiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of my ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught myself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had my portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had my picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Rode an elephant

Excuse Me While I Channel Carrie Bradshaw

Once upon a time in a city not nearly as good as New York, I sat on my couch on a lonely Tuesday night. I was mostly watching the lights from the Christmas tree bounce on the shiny surfaces of the ornaments when my mind began to wander. I started thinking about how long it had been since I celebrated a holiday with a boyfriend (or girlfriend). While there had been no “Mr. Big” for me, there had been “Mr. I am old enough to be your dad and I am married”; “Mr. Let me splatter your heart all over Hell and back, oh and I am married, now I am not, now I am married to someone new”; “Ms. Let’s try the lesbian thing, oh wait I am moving away and hey! marrying a guy!”; and most recently “Mr. I am adorable and sexy and I want you, and oh yeah, I’m married.”

Then I let my mind scroll through all of the single guys I know. I began to wonder why it was that I had to beat married men off with a stick, but the single ones stayed far out of my reach. Was there something about me that screamed “Married men, ahoy!” while simultaneously screaming “Single guys beware!” And then I figured out what the problem was. With each and every single guy I know, I had been charged, tried, convicted, and been given a life without parole sentence of “friend.”

Apparently, in the mind of single men, there is a psychological prison to which I am sentenced. Once having been given the “friend” sentence, there is no reprieve. No hope for a commutation. No chance of escape. But why? Why am I the girl they “always have so much fun with,” or “don’t want to go to the party” if I won’t be there. If I am so fun, so great, why not pardon me from the friendship prison and release me into the free society of the dating pool?

Why am I the one they call when their most recent girlfriend, the illegal immigrant with a fetish for stealing from stores, people, even the boyfriend? Why do I get to listen as they count the many ways this particular woman drives them crazy (no motivation, no job, didn’t graduate high school, hacked his email account to see if he is cheating, wants to lay in is apartment playing video games all day, takes all his money, steals from his roommate, and won’t put out to boot)?

Instead of wondering what was wrong with them, I began to wonder what was wrong with me. Surely I was a better choice than kleptomaniacs and illegal immigrants, right? I am highly educated, loads of fun, can make people laugh until they actually pee just a little, have no proclivaties towards stealing, have never hacked an email account or otherwise for signs of infidelity…why am I not at least in the running for the position of girlfriend instead of chained and shackled in the friend prison?

Unlike Carrie Bradshaw, an epiphany did not strike me within a half hour time frame. I was only left to wonder if I needed to become a theiving bitch to attract a man. Has any woman ever successfully escaped the confines of Friend Prison? And someone has, why aren’t they helping the rest of us?

Stupid Internal Organs

My gallbladder is causing quite a ruckus, apparently. I am having an ultrasound tomorrow morning. I can’t eat anything without becoming thoroughly ill. My esophagus hurts from all the acid refluxing. I feel like I was hit by a bus and then dropped off a cliff.

And if my gallbladder has decided to die, there’s an even bigger problem: I am terrified of hospitals. I’ve never had surgery. I’ve never even had a broken bone. I like all my organs exactly where they are. They’re called internal for a reason!

Send happy thoughts my way. Pretty please.

I Do Not Heart Thanksgiving

I hate Thanksgiving. Truly. It’s such a faux holiday. Plus, it’s quite possibly the most gluttonous holiday there is. Easter and Halloween cannot even begin to compare with all the complex carbohydrates that are features for this day. In addition, there’s the whole annihilation of Native Americans back story that makes me ill.

Although, I do have things to be thankful for this year. My cousin that lives in Las Vegas is in town. We are having some girl time tomorrow. Then we are going to have the big feast at our grandmother’s. I don’t have much family, so this is quite a big deal to me.

So, tell me about your love/hate of this holiday and what your plans are.

Random Monday Anger

• Kristen, the PAYCHEX customer service rep from Hell, that works in the COBRA department and can be reached at 800-472-0072 - I hate you. I don’t hate many people, but I hate you. Fucking cunt. That’s right! You.Are.A.Cunt. A gigantic, apathy-filled, totally not at all helpful, waste of fucking space. I hope you get the clap. Repeatedly.
• Monday morning, time to apply to all the new jobs posted over the weekend! Wait a minute…hmm, there weren’t any jobs posted over the weekend…But that’s OK! I have my whole $293 a week from unemployment!
• While we’re talking about you, Unemployment, thanks for “pausing” my fucking claim for no fucking reason!!!! Does a retard named Kristen work for you by any chance? Really it’s OK. I had way too much of all that shelter and food anyway.

Not Sure What I Think

So, generally, when something is all hyped and people get all crazy-like over it, I tend to stay away. I didn’t read any of the Harry Potters until book 5 was getting ready to be released. It’s like, if that many people like it, it cannot truly be any good. On average, most people are sheep, and so I guess I attribute the popularity to the Sheep Effect.

Despite my sister having read the entire Twilight Saga, I was keeping my distance. There was so much fuss, I backed away slowly and swore never to pick up a copy.

And then I got laid off and I am so bored, and I read this truly scathing review of Twilight on Amazon.com. This woman just took the book and reduced it to hamster cage shavings. Somehow, her extreme dislike of the book made me want to read it. I know it’s weird, but what about me isn’t? So I read it.

I kept waiting with that novel. I was waiting mostly to hit the part that turned the fans of this book into fans, but I felt like I never did. If you examine the plot, well there really isn’t a plot, and what semblence of a plot that there is is not that extraordinary. Meyer, the author, broke some vampire conventions in her writing. I am OK with the sunlight thing, not OK with the apparent non-need to invite a vampire into your dwelling (seriously, you just don’t cross that line).

So what am I missing? Explain it to me because I want to know. I just have lukewarm feelings about this novel. If you have read it and loved it, tell me why.

Welcome Mr. President

We’ve been waiting for you.